Spirituality: ur doin it wrong
This morning on Facebook, someone whose profile is all jammed up with all kinds of stuff on spirituality and Kabbalah and mysticism posted a really nasty thing about black people being cowards and animals and how we would have lost WWII if they had been in charge. This kind of jarring contradiction between melding with the Godhead and being a great mage on the one hand and being a hate-filled, snotty little boy on the other really annoys me. It makes a bad name for spirituality and unfortunately, IME, it occurs far too often. It is almost enough to put a person off spirituality altogether. If spirituality does not make you a better person, ur doin it wrong. At the very least, spirituality should have the effect of ridding a person of hate, arrogance, and selfishness. If it doesn’t, you might as well just shoot dope to attain your nirvana. It’s faster and it’s guaranteed. Me, I want something more from spirituality than being narcotized with my own self-absorption. Call me old-fashioned.
Aryeh Kaplan
A few years ago now, before starting the Abramelin Operation (which I stopped before I got to the end), I decided to embark on a program of self-education about Kabbalah. This was a topic I was not all that interested in but felt like I should learn about it precisely for that reason–and because it plays such a role in several types of magic. So I started studying. I really enjoyed the works Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan was involved in, like his translation of the Sefer Yetzirah and his compendium and history of various Jewish meditation techniques in Meditation and Kabbalah. It was in the latter that I first ran into Abulafia, whose own take on Kabbalah as a system for acquiring prophetic abilities and whose original techniques really opened my eyes about how much bigger Kabbalah was than what I had thought–the whole Tree of Life thing that is pretty much the sum of it in magic, and I have not found that to be a very helpful construct. It always seemed so forced and so antithetical to direct apprehension of the divine in ordinary life. Who needs emanations when you can go out in your own back yard and feel the divine in every blade of grass? Abulafia’s approach was different. He used (rather odd) meditation techniques that he developed, based on various permutations of divine names, to basically call down a divine representative who could give one prophetic abilities. Plus I just liked the guy because he tried to convert the Pope to Judaism.:)
Since that time I have continued to study Jewish mysticism, going back to what there is known about it in ancient times, like with Dan’s multi-volume Jewish Mysticism. I’ve learned a lot more about Heikhalot and Merkavah mysticism, which demonstrate clear roots for medieval ceremonial magic, for instance. Rather than being the narrow, dry thing that had been presented to me both through my experience in Judaism and through modern magic, Kabbalah and other types of Jewish mysticism proved to be very juicy and BIG. So I’ve been enjoying my meanderings a good deal. So much to learn!
Back to Aryeh Kaplan. As I poked around more and more and one thread led to another, I found that Aryeh Kaplan was associated with Breslov Judaism, a sect I have posted about before. The most anarchic of the Hasidic sects, known as the Dead Hasidism because they have no “dynasty” like the other Hasidic sects, Breslov has attracted me for quite a while (even though they have their own craziness). I started reading one of their fundamental introductory works, Crossing the Narrow Bridge, almost two years ago, and am finally finishing it after repeatedly putting it aside for other works. I liked a lot of what it said (and thoroughly rejected other things). Together with a much other reading, such as of Luria and his circle, I have decided to get a bit more serious about this spirituality stuff. That means, for me, going beyond studying or even trancework. It means acting.
My name is on a brass plaque somewhere
One thing that Breslov recommends is that people choose a commandment and focus on doing it well. This struck me as good advice, since there are so many commandments in Judaism that it’s overwhelming and discouraging to even think about carrying them out, at least, to me. So I decided to choose the commandment to give charity. As far as I know, most Jews do not practice tithing anymore, which is usually taken to apply to harvest in the ancient land of Israel instead of to salaries or wages here and now. Jews ARE into charity, but usually this involves some kind of public recognition, which I guess is okay if you are like seeing your name on some cheezy brass plaque. But I am no money bags, nor am I interested in attending chicken dinners to honor such folks. I investigated the concept of charity in Rabbinic Judaism and found that there was still a portion of Jews who are doing ma’aser or tithing. This surprised me. It had not occurred to me that Jews were still doing this, although I knew that some Christians do it. But unlike Christian tithing, where people give 10% of their income to their church, this practice recommends that folks give 10% of their (after-tax) income to the charities of their choice (giving to the synagogue we belong to, if any, is separate) and that we should do it on a relatively frequent basis instead of once or twice a year, in order to be reminded of the need for charity both for the recipient and the giver. So I started doing this. And I have to say that it is having a very positive effect on me. I just feel better. Not superior or elevated above others, but more unified, because my actions are reflecting my beliefs.
Maybe because I am a witch and not a mage, to me it does not matter what you believe if you do not carry it out in some way in this world. Just as it does not matter what you know if you never share it, it does not matter what you have written if no one reads it, and it does not matter what skill you have if you never teach it. Spirituality then must include a giving out or passing along of the grace that the divine pours into us all the time; the more we get from the divine, the more we should be willing to give to others in whatever way works. How that comes out is a personal choice, but it should come out in positive actions, not by posting racist dog turds on Facebook. At any rate, I highly recommend charity as a way of doing spiritual work. It is uplifting for one’s own spirit and it helps others. What could be nicer?
A while back I did a series of alchemically-inspired illustrations (digitally, and I hope to begin re-doing them in watercolor for my temple and prints).It is a metaphor for the process of becoming a “True Master” – master of one’s path, oneself, blah blah.
It begins with death (the Prime Materia), and moves to that up-swelling of new purity and enthusiasm all people have when they begin a path (The Arising of The Swan). From there, cynicism takes hold – it bloodies the sky, it rends apart optimism (The Death of The Sun), cynicism becomes it’s own monster: “I have SEEN things, MAN! I KNOW BETTER. Let me EDUCATE you on the way this world really works, Kid!” (False Pride). 99% of aspiring “True Masters” never move past this point – the false pride. The false filling of themselves with false truths to hide the hole made by the death of their own sun.
There’s more to it, there’s more stages (and they cycle over and over). But they’ll never see it because they will never break out of the splendor of their own tail-feathers long enough to realize what they’ve done to themselves, and how they’ve failed their own path. It’s the false pride that hangs the magus by his ritual cords.
Charity is good for what ails a body, IME. Matters not the spiritual path. My experience is that if one wants to get ahead, one really needs to put word into action, and live up to whatever ideals they feel they are moving towards, spiritually. Sure, put a dollar into the collection plate on a Sunday if you like, but live deeper than that if you can. Go wash dishes at the local soup kitchen. Buy a coffee and a donut for the local homeless fellow you see weekly on your walk to work. If you have 20 lbs of aluminum cans destined for weekly recycling, give them to someone to turn in for the CRV. If you’re preparing to leave out an offering of bread for Hekate at a local crossroads, lay out enough for anyone else who may wander by feeling hungry. Take clothes that no longer fit to the local laundromat; a lot of people peruse laundromats for clean clothes.
If you’re thinking of what to do first, and find that pride is knocking at the door, shelve those thoughts and start planning again when pride’s nowhere to be heard, or seen. Better yet, do something simple whenever you have time. Pride’s not terribly interested in the local homeless you give change to for coffee. Make someone else more comfortable, to begin with. Ain’t no place for ego in such a pursuit. Just think of how you’d like a hot cup of coffee on the coldest morning of the autumn, and go from there. If you’re able.
Quit yammering, and do good.
I believe in the direct transfer of Positive and Negative “Energy” or “Spirit” or “Mana” or whatever you prefer to call it these days and I find that on those occasions when we give to the Homeless in the most direct of contexts, say, in the street, we are transferring and generating Positive Energy. I say that because its what I feel when I do that and I dont like to miss any opportunity to do so.
I have been totally enjoying giving charity since I started this thing. I searched out the local homeless shelter and have made donations to them as well as to someone whose cat needs surgery, as well as other good causes. It makes me feel wealthy (which I most certainly am not!), but it also makes me feel like I can make some small difference. I don’t get out and about much, so I don’t run into homeless people like I might if I got out every day, but they are one of my number one concerns in this.
This whole charity thing has turned out to be much more healing and pleasurable for me than I had ever expected.